Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Sunday, December 19, 2004


I think I mentioned before that I had a sip of red wine at the pizza party, but couldn't taste it. Well, at last night's Christmas Party at Cole's, I had a Spaten Light and I could taste it!

It may have something to do with being able to taste bread and grains. So, I had two big beers and a wonderful time. Unfortunately, it was the last Pleasant Something show since the band is breaking up.

That's another thing about this past year: break-ups. At press time, there were three pending divorces, a six-year-plus relationship went bust mid-year, and one band break-up.

On the upside, I met two of my friends' girlfriends at the party. They're lovely girls, but the "don't give girlfriends Laura's cell phone number rule" is still in effect. Because everytime something goes wrong, and it always does, I'm the one the future ex-girlfriends/wives keep calling to ask "why, why, why?"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The length of Cole’s curse is directly related to the length of the failed relationship!!!

Let me explain...

The curse’s beginning is being blamed on my failed relationship with a certain aspiring actress. Now, the ending of this relationship was not my doing but I want to get to the bottom of this curse. So lets figure out just how long this curse will last. I’ll explain it like a mathematical equation in order to further prove my point.

First, lets get our symbols straight:
X = the former girlfriend
Y = me
A = 2 years (the length of living together in Downtown LA)
B = 1 years (the length of time since the relationship ended to the current day)
F = Coles Curse

So here are the set up equations keeping in mind we want to solve for F:

X + Y = 2
X + Y = A
A = 2

A – B = X (this is true since X created B against the will of Y)
X - Y = A - B
B = 1

A – F = 1
F = B
B = 1
F = 1

X + Y = A ÷ 2
A ÷ 2 = B
B = F

If B = F then the curse must be ending. My final analysis is that the curse will end with the closing of 2004 calendar year. The spread of the Cole’s Curse will stop but the effects to those exposed by the curse in 2004 may require additional time to heal. I believe this amount of time for healing varies by the amount of time exposed to the relationship and the level of personal involvement with the X + Y factors. Although the curse did its best to take a few lives, it is not as strong as the bond between those who frequent Cole’s. Rest assured though that time will heal all wounds caused by the curse.

Have a safe and happy holiday season! Here’s looking to a better year ahead!
John L

December 20, 2004 12:18 PM  
Blogger clowny said...

So ultimately, regardless of one's exposure to the Cole's curse the only thing that will help is to go to Cole's as frequently as possible. I like that.

So assuming that frequent attendance at Cole's wards-off negative energy, and the resulting interpersonal bonds formed with frequent attendance are a positive result:


W = duration of "wierdness" w/someone you hooked-up w/at Cole's [in years]
a = number of times you've gone home w/hook-up
b = number of times you've hung out w/hook-up at Cole's without going home w/them

So, even if you go home with someone, say 3 times, there would only be 1.4 months of wierdness if you hung out with them at just half of the I See Hawks shows the whole year.

Of course, this would only happen at Cole's, and it's just a theory.

December 20, 2004 1:42 PM  
Blogger DyingBurningFighting said...

Um... I think you guys are putting way TOO MUCH effort into figuring this Cole's thing out. It's almost scary.

December 21, 2004 10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Want to know what's really scary? The Cole's curse touched its ugly hand to my girlfriend last night. She was an innocent victim in a 3 car accident in Pasadena. She is really banged up and her car was totaled. She, like veryone else touched by the Cole's curse, will be OK in time.

Think on that one a minute. Like I said before. Stay safe and be careful until the Cole's curse has been lifted.
John L.

December 23, 2004 8:58 AM  
Blogger clowny said...

This is your current girlfriend, right? That's consistent with something I heard a while back: the person who pays for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship. So I don't think it applies to the Cole's curse, it's just the way things are.

But you and the actress didn't have a bad relationship (as far as I saw), so maybe it is the curse.

December 23, 2004 10:23 AM  

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