OK, so here's your new post Agnieszka

I haven't been posting most of June because the drugs they've been giving me after the stomach tube made me disoriented, and worse. I can tell when I type because the spatial orientation of each letter is different as I'm typing them down on white. But I've been weening myself off the drugs, which is a damn good thing. They made me disoriented, delusional, paranoid.

Right now, I'm climbing out of a deep blue funk. The stomach tube is great because I'm finally getting strength back. But the throat trache is still a pain in the ass.

My next chemo session is next Wednesday. I really need something drastic to happen after this next session. I haven't been getting sick (nausea, vomiting) but I really need this tumor to shrink, or do something. I'm so angry most of the time. Nothing really bad is happening, but I want some sort of sign, any difference in my condition that will tell me that the drugs are making some sort of difference.

I want shrinkage of the tumor, to be able to get rid of the throat trache and stomach tube, and have a Teriyake Burger at Islands with a large Diet Coke.