Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Adapt or Die

My Sister came by Wednesday afternoon before James came home. She just brought over her laptop and we hung out in front of home improvement and cooking shows all afternoon. Adam hung out after work and filled us in on the new plans everyone had for the neighborhood. It all sounded very exciting. I started to perk up a little, and looking forward to the potential street-fest/car crash which would surround my home. Just having Adam and Celia around talking about the future helped immensely.

I drank and ate a lot more than usual which is good. I spent some time on the nebulizer, and kept a stiff upper lip until James and I were alone again. I asked my sister to stay as long as she could because I didn't know what to do. So of course I started taking care of my plants. Thanks to the incompetence at Home Depot's registry service, more plants are still arriving weeks after the blessed event. Some even include the recipient's name! We've even had to check with some friends whose gifts were announced, but never sent.

But once I show James my posting, we start talking about what we have to do to keep me going. That includes the possibility of the stomach tube being installed if I don't maintain my weight for the next 4 days. So he's monitoring my meds along with Dr. Milch, noting my mood and behavior with every change in dosage. I have to say, it's taken a lot of pressure of me. I was so afraid of loosening my grip, even Derrick hinted that I might try and ease up on myself a little bit. So that's a new chore that's been delegated to James. But he deserves better. I only hope it personalizes his art a little.

I can't believe it's Friday already. Days pass, weeks pass, but my weaknesses aren't passing. I've been bypassing the frozen fruit yogurt and eating double chocolate ice cream with 10mg morphine and lorazopam sprinkles.


Blogger sunsetandalvarado said...

Laura, I haven't written in a while, certainly none of my health speed bumps compare to yours and James. Our feeding tubes, I don't recall if you had one after surgery as I did. The "gruel" that I used worked. I might add it's also a strong incentive to start eating again, I started supplementing my tube feedings as soon as Dr. B gave me the OK. Just to let you know I have a few tricks that I used to made the feedings more comfortable. By the get a lot of reading in during your feeding time. We'll talk if you want.
Laura and James, STAY STRONG ALWAYS.

June 18, 2005 5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Laura -
Just checking in and lettnig you know that P & I have been reading your blog regularly. We're thinking of you all the time. Perhaps a visit will be in order soon?

We've been crazy with pet sitting duties and other madness lately. There never seems to be enough time in a day or enough days in a week! We currently have a quest by the name of Eva for 2 more weeks. She's a really cute, tiny 'wittle, 5 month old puppy. She is cute as hell but a real attention 'ho!

Well, I'll write again soon. I just wanted to drop a note while on my lunch break. Take care girl.

We love you.
John L

June 20, 2005 1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Laura,

Great to meet you today. Hope you were able to relax and find some comfort in the music. Look forward to seeing you again really soon.

Take care,
Elaine, Music therapist at Kaiser

June 20, 2005 4:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HI, Laura,
Just stopping by to touch base. Thinking of you, and absorbing the latest news.
The moon is full here on the East Coast and it's a lovely, warm evening after many, many too-cool and gray days. This morning the heat was on, bedroom cast-iron baseboards creaking! Crazy! Tomorrow is the first day of summer.
Hope you are enjoying the plants that are arriving...take care, and steady she goes.

June 20, 2005 6:39 PM  

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