Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The plan tomorrow

hopefully I'll be getting a feeding tube installed tomorrow; the type that goes straight into my stomach rather than up my nose and down my throat. I'm tired of being too weak and my jaw and throat feeling too out of it to cooperate.

My dearest, darling James will have to be front and center for the specifics. That's all for now.

In my own way, I'm still trying to hold on. I promise.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This may be a silly question, will you be able to taste anything that goes in the tube? Sorry.

June 22, 2005 1:37 AM  
Blogger Merujo said...

I wish I lived in Los Angeles. I'd come by to entertain you. I'm afraid all I can do is send good wishes and a virtual hug from amazingly thunderstorm-y Washington, DC.

Thank you for continuing to write and talk about your life. I come here every day to see how you're doing. Good luck with tomorrow's procedure. And I look forward to the eventual "eating all sorts of incredibly tasty, spicy, exotic, yummy things" post that you will be able to write.

Soon.

June 22, 2005 3:01 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

I'm another complete stranger chiming in to wish you well, and let you know that I'm sending you all the waves of strength I can muster! I know how tempting it is to succumb to the illusion that blissful nothingness HAS to be better than painful reality -- but the truth is that Something is always better than Nothing. (Which doesn't mean that Something doesn't SUCK!) But in this world, you're surrounded by so much love. And here's so much beauty in this world -- it seems lost, out of reach, when you're hurting and can't TASTE it... but I think just the prospect of experiencing some bliss again -- whether it's the laughter of someone you love, an incredible sky, an exquisite painting, a bittersweet film, a ripe peach! -- the possibility of all that again equals shreds of hope. If not a steel cable that can anchor you through this horrible time.

please excuse my ramblings, if they're annoying -- but take care, and know many of us are thinking of you, all over the world...

June 22, 2005 4:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, Laura,
Stopping by, to say hello, thinking of you, and found the news of your food tube. Sounds like a good plan -- here's to strength and nourishment, in all forms.
Best, as always,
Carolyn

June 22, 2005 5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi laura! hopefully the feeding tube will give you the strength you need...i'm always checking in on you - thanks for continuing to post :)

i'm going to make that quiche tart think that you recommended to be the FIRST thing i make out of thomas keller's bouchon cookbook this weekend!!! thanks for the tips, and any more that you have re: the pastry crust, mixing the filling, etc...just post it up, even in your comments sections - i am always checking back in on you, you amazingly strong and beautiful girl! xoxo, sarah

June 23, 2005 8:17 PM  
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