Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Sunday, August 07, 2005


This weekend it's been all about just hanging out alone with James and living in the past. I've been mixing different juice coctails and pouring them down my feeding syringe as often as I can. Sometimes, I just lie around pouring ice water down the syringe. I'm addicted to the smell of crisp, ice-cold water. But I also lose myself in the memory of chocolate ice-cream sodas, Fudgesicles, and blueberry smoothies.

I remind myself that I'm bucking-up my body's morale, keeping with the mental/emotional instant gratification so my body can fight the side-effects of the chemo. But what I really need to know is if the chemo is working. But it's too early to know for sure. Dr. Milch says that all the necrotic tissue in my mouth could be a good sign that cancer cells are dying away. But Dr. Buchschaecher isn't so hopeful because the tumor is still there. (SIGH).

Hopefully, there will still be no news/sign of metastasis by the time we do see a change in the the tumor, and my buddy Morphine will keep on keeping on.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Laura & James -
Paloma & I have beenthining of you and hoping we can come see you soon. I'll call James again to try and schedule a day & time. We miss you and love you lots!
hugs & bunies
John L and Paloma F

August 07, 2005 6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, Laura,
Blueberries are in season here in New England, too. Picked some last night at the organic farm. They are lovely in the evening sunlight, the green ones, pinky purple ones, and then the blue-blue prizes. Very tart, however.
Thinking of you and wishing you peace. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

August 08, 2005 5:34 PM  

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