Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Monday, May 16, 2005

The ADD Meal Plan

I woke up early so I wouldn't get distracted by James' breakfast, which would of course be so much bigger than mine. I started off with things I knew I enjoyed: hot chocolate and oatmeal with apricot preserves. I finished the chocolate and got halfway through the oatmeal before I got distracted by the row of vitamins and supplements on the table. I'm considering whether or not to try and finish the oatmeal. It doesn't even taste like oatmeal anymore. My entire tongue is encased in this white sheet; I don't know whether it's to protect it or what.

I ate next to nothing yesterday. James was disappointed when I initially told him not to fix me a blueberry protein shake, but I gave in. There's so many things I still need to keep eating regardless of whether or not I can taste them. The pain in my mouth hasn't ben really bad lately, it's like a cement mixer churning in the other room. But eating is like walking into that room, I don't want to walk into that room.

James was able to paint the bathroom ceiling yesterday. I can't even focus long enough to finish watching Design on a Dime. Reading any of my books would be futile. So I just background whatever is on TV, and tell James how cute he is when he takes a break. That's pretty much all I got.

I'm spending today at my parents'house since James has to work, A change of scenery might be good.


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