Adapt or Die

My Sister came by Wednesday afternoon before James came home. She just brought over her laptop and we hung out in front of home improvement and cooking shows all afternoon. Adam hung out after work and filled us in on the new plans everyone had for the neighborhood. It all sounded very exciting. I started to perk up a little, and looking forward to the potential street-fest/car crash which would surround my home. Just having Adam and Celia around talking about the future helped immensely.

I drank and ate a lot more than usual which is good. I spent some time on the nebulizer, and kept a stiff upper lip until James and I were alone again. I asked my sister to stay as long as she could because I didn't know what to do. So of course I started taking care of my plants. Thanks to the incompetence at Home Depot's registry service, more plants are still arriving weeks after the blessed event. Some even include the recipient's name! We've even had to check with some friends whose gifts were announced, but never sent.

But once I show James my posting, we start talking about what we have to do to keep me going. That includes the possibility of the stomach tube being installed if I don't maintain my weight for the next 4 days. So he's monitoring my meds along with Dr. Milch, noting my mood and behavior with every change in dosage. I have to say, it's taken a lot of pressure of me. I was so afraid of loosening my grip, even Derrick hinted that I might try and ease up on myself a little bit. So that's a new chore that's been delegated to James. But he deserves better. I only hope it personalizes his art a little.

I can't believe it's Friday already. Days pass, weeks pass, but my weaknesses aren't passing. I've been bypassing the frozen fruit yogurt and eating double chocolate ice cream with 10mg morphine and lorazopam sprinkles.