Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Full House

The Arrowhead Water Guy, Nurse Marylou, Dr. Milch and Big Eric stopped by yesterday afternoon. I was so out of it they could've been Cher's farewell tour. But then Ali would've been there. And they brought goodies. Now I have boxes of morphine patches, a fresh supply of fact acting morphine tablets, and a little pill dispenser that lookslike a calendar. I wasn't quite awake, but James and Celia were there. James told me later that he lost it a little, simply becase I was mosty unconcsious. I think I caught a climpse of Celia just shutting down.

I took the patch last night along with a fast acting capsule for the pain and the breathing. It really helped until I wolke up at 1240am. Th hallunications started again. Nothing flying adross theroom but I kept asking janes if it was time to startkickingp people out since it was getting Laate. He would look around the emply apartment and say "What people???"

They're delivering an electronic bed so I can move my head up and down in case I haae problems breathing again. I'm also getting a walking chair, just in case.
hWierd things of allshapes and sizes aare poping ot of nowhereve; hobbits behind bookcases, tech workers behid laptop screenw, nuns praying behind the dining chairs. Then there are the jungle anmalsliving in my throat. I'll ge sitting quietly when a tiger in my throat decides to yawn or somehting. At least it's not in my chest. thaen I would have something to worry about.

I see Dr. MNicoll this afternoon. Because of my troupble breathing ettin worse, Mr. Milch asked if we shold coniser another tracheotomy. I'm all for it. Not being able to breath in the middle of the nigt is too much iek one f my worse phobias; being buried alive.


Blogger celia said...

I don't know if it was so much me shutting down as it was me feeling helpless. I was sitting next to you when you were talking to the doctor. I was looking at your eyes and you were loopy, going in and out of consciousness. I've seen it before and it was comical when you were turning 21 and attempting to headbutt me in the restroom before flushing the toilet with your head. Yesterday, it was just scary. But I can take it, please let me know if you and James need me to be there again. Love you.

May 18, 2005 5:43 PM  

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