Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Blurred vision

The medication I'm taking for mild nausea, increased secretions and gurgling is blurring my vision. So expect more typos, maybe.

There was a big family buffet party Saturday afternoon. My Auntie Nanding and Uncle Meding celebrated their 50th Anniversary. There wasn't a whole bunch I could get beyond soup and pudding; so depressing. But I have some pureed lamb kabob right now and a whole variety of fresh fruit smoothies. The right side of my tonue has swollen up a little. I don't know what kind of anti-inflammatories I can take at this point because I just want to get this stew down. I'm also alternating the nebulizer and the oxygen tank in because there's something up with my airways, too.

I'm so exhausted. Two days before my next chemo and I'm scared that something in my blood tests will prevent me from taking it. I can't go out anymore, it takes too much out of me. At least not for a while. All I should be doing is sleepng and eating. But emotional and physical fatigue are taking over each day.

James needs a break, too. If I can just rest through the night without any drama, and do the same during the day, we should be fine. It's worse when I hallucinate because that's when I get childish, and start playing hide-and-go-seek with my inner cannula.


Blogger celia said...

Anytime James needs a break, just email me and/or call, I'll be more than happy to come over and hang out with you. Besides, I want you to read this new script and give me morphine-induced casting suggestions.

June 06, 2005 3:12 PM  
Blogger clowny said...

Thanks, guys. Actually, Friday might be a good afternoon for you to come and visit. James may have to spend time in the studio, and I don't know how week tomorrow's chemo will make me.

I'll keep you posted. I love you guys.

June 07, 2005 7:31 PM  
Blogger clowny said...

That's okay, Ali. You're welcome anytime you have the time. I know how buys you are these days.



June 14, 2005 9:17 PM  

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