Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Friday, February 11, 2005


File under: "Laura, things are going to start tasting different."

Before the surgery, potatoes were one of my FAVORITE foods: roasted, mashed, fried,... whatever. But this morning I had a breakfast burrito, which I picked at until lunchtime. I've gotten into the annoying habit of taking burritos apart since I shouldn't be taking big bites right now. By the time I'm bored with one, my plate looks like an autopsy slab. But I digress.

When the dish reached the open carcass stage, all the diced potatoes were left uneaten. That never used to happen. French fries, hash browns, twice-baked, and rosemary roasted doesn't sound nearly as appealing as they used to.

I guess that's one less carb to worry about. But I'm sure I more than make up for it with all the risotto and polenta I've begun cooking.

I went to Roscoe's last weekend and fried chicken isn't the same, either. I taste the chicken and the batter and all that, but I just didn't enjoy it the way I used to (which was entirely too much). I seem to be losing my taste for a lot of things which, until recently, I believed I just couldn't live without.

I'm easing back into my old drama-free disposition, but I wonder if I'm letting too many things slide. Especially since so many of my friends are having major personal/professional upheavals.

These days, I have to make more of an effort to be the warm, fuzzy center of their universe; I mean really watch what I say. When someone's heart is breaking, it doesn't help to say, "Screw it. There are worse things that could happen." Especially when they know that it's how I really feel. It would truly suck if the cancer turned me into a crappy friend.


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