Kevin's Dead Cat

After surgery sliced off an entire tumor and 1/3 of my tongue, plus six weeks of radiation therapy, I've been re-learning how to eat, drink, and talk with my newly re-constructed tongue and coping with side effects. But the cancer came back and I don't know what's going to happen next.

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Cementing new habits

I am definitely a creature of habit. Because of the three-day weekend I munched on homemade cantuccini 24/7, and skipped three days of eating oatmeal and working out. By Monday evening I felt just plain wierd. So I spent an extra 20 minutes working out and had a bowl of pinhead oats for dinner. I still feel wierd, but I think it's more about my horoscope and the weather than anything else.

My quickie horoscope this morning read: "You're making every contact except the one you really need to pursue." I'd been trying to get a hold of my regular dentist by email to schedule a cleaning and get a prescription for fluoride gel. But she hadn't gotten back to me. Spent part of the morning trying to maneuver my way through UCLA's and Kaiser's phone system trying to find out if I needed another referral to see Dr. Soltani again... no luck. I already had an appointment with Dr. McNicoll scheduled for the 31st, but I read the horoscope and thought that maybe he's my go-to guy. Sure enough, he was supposed to be in surgery all day today, but it got cancelled. So I got to see him this afternoon.

He just had his hair cut really short. I think he lost some weight, too. But enough about that. He examined my mouth, and said that it's all healing very well, and very quickly. Stuck the scope up my nose, and said my throat looks good, too. As far as the scars on my neck and arm, he wants me to spend more time rubbing mineral oil on them because there are still some tough areas I'm neglecting. Otherwise, (all together now) it's all healing very well.

For the past week, it's been feeling like someone's sticking a needle on my voodoo doll's neck and left ear. Dr. McNicoll said I just need to spend time massaging the area because of the stiffness and the scar tissue around the nerve endings.

Eventually, I asked him whether I needed a referral from him to see a dentist at UCLA. He gave me the number for the Tumor Board, and instructed me to call it on Monday and ask for the UCLA dentist on call. They would be able to hook me up with an appointment, and a referral from one of the radiation doctors if I still needed one.

Oh yeah,... he still rocks.

But, my extended horoscope said: "The heavens are conspiring to bring you even closer to your friends than you have been -- which is really saying something. In fact, you could end up in a long heart-to-heart with someone you've been dying to make peace with, and whether you're delivering or accepting the apology, you can rest assured that it will take."

Is there someone out there who's pissed off at me? Crissakes, give me a call because I'm clueless.


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